Do You Know There Are Different Love Languages?
I didn’t know there were different ways people wanted to receive love. I thought if I gave them a lot of love, they would receive it. I didn’t realize I was speaking in the wrong love language, so they didn’t feel like I was giving them love! Wow! 😯
I Thought I Was Not “Lovable”
All through my school days, I thought I was not lovable or likable because I was “fat” and “unattractive”. Then when I started my home based business, I did my best to “love” people and show them that I cared about them. I truly gave them every ounce of “love” I had, however, I knew “deep down inside” that I still wasn’t loved, and they didn’t know that I loved them. This was very confusing to me. 😥
For Things To Get Better, I Had To “Get Better”
I went on a personal development journey and followed Jim Rohn’s advice. He said “Don’t ask that life get easier, ask that you get better”. Jim also said “Don’t ask for less problems, ask for more skills”! 😕 I heard Jim Rohn’s words over and over and over!!
During my search, I discovered people’s perspectives are very different because our human senses are very limited. We have different personality types which means we all have different values and needs. These differences can lead to unintentional miscommunication and possible hurt feelings. We have a blog post on “Communicating Effectively with Personality Types” and a test on Facebook which you can take too. It’s fun discovering how we all perceive things very differently.
Different Ways of Giving and Receiving Love
I became very aware of the Four Quadrant Personality Types and became better at communicating to the 4 basic types, however, I soon found out, there were different Love Languages too! 😯 In other words, people speak basically 5 languages when it comes to the emotion of “love” and how they receive or give love are very, very different!
The 5 Basic Love Languages as stated by Gary Chapman are:
1) Words of Affirmation – Wants to hear the words “I Love You” and will say the words often.
2) Quality Time – Truly “being there” without distraction. Totally paying attention to the other person.
3) Gifts – Remembering gifts for special days are imperative. They love to give gifts.
4) Act of Service – Easing their burden of responsibility. “Let me do that for you.” Irresponsibility, laziness, broken commitments show you don’t love them. They will do the same for you.
5) Physical Touch – Hugs, pats on the back, and always being there is crucial. They in turn will always be there physically for you.
Here’s a video on how I discovered different love languages and what that means:
And here’s the link to the Oprah and Iyanla Vanzant misunderstanding video:
Wasn’t that fascinating? 😯 Did you see the look of disbelief on Oprah’s face when Iyanla said “I just wanted you to say you liked me and you never did.”! Oprah’s love language was giving her “quality time” and an “act of service“. Oprah let Iyanla run 22 of her shows! For Oprah, that was the “ultimate trust” and the “ultimate act of love”, however, Iyanla wanted “words of affirmation“. Oprah said “what did you think that meant?” and Iyanla said “I couldn’t receive that. You gotta hear that”. Wow! 😯 That was so powerful and an excellent example of the different love languages and how relationships can be hurt by misunderstanding someone’s love language.
So have you had misunderstandings due to differences in love languages? We’d love to hear about them and how you felt about our post in our comments section below. May we also ask you to click the “f share” button at the top of the article, to share on Facebook or “retweet” this on Twitter?
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